athelstanent | Clanging Cymbal and Soul Cough

Concerning my last LJ post, consider my therapy on hold for now. I really do need the strength to push through. My bunny pointed out last night that I do have the will inside of me, it's just that the wrong part of me is wielding now. So I'll continue to treat the symptoms. I made a big decision last night and we'll see how that goes (don't worry it's a good thing, but I'll tell you about it in a week or two after it's become a habit.)

Now about that cymbal. Growing up we were told that the soul is like a cymbal. Every time you sinned you would get a mark on the cymbal. You could never clean the cymbal... well it's a bad metaphor, but it dawned on me. Cymbals are not supposed to look perfect. Imperfections make a better sounding cymbal... take a look at any zildian http://www.zildjian.com/ and you'll find that most of them are deformed be design. So my soul is no perfect and will make a better sound.

I also feel like things could be better if I could just cough up a big soul lugi I would be fine. I want to just get rid of this big clump of negativity and get on with things. I know seeing something surreal would help, but I may just need to create that surreal moment myself. Any ideas on how to reset would be appreciated.