(no subject)

Holidays - trying not to get depressed. Today can be summed up so far with "do not compare myself with others", "if I enjoy something then I'll be hurt, even if I do not share it with anyone; I'm not an abuser, abusers enjoy life" and "Got to remember I need to put effort into things even if all the effort I put in did not pay out before because of the shit show around me early on in life."

I got lessons and notions to sort all of this.