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The final frontier....
Jan. 8th, 2024 11:26 amWhy do anything?
Liking yourself and setting up things you enjoy works for most. I'm working on that.
Learning to get up and do anything when there are those who do not need to put effort into surviving... is a work in progress. Liking yourself helps with this because you still need to survive to enjoy what you enjoy.
Understanding that I can not know everything and that anything I do will be incomplete because I can not understand everything... this is so very hard. Seems like everything is designed to hide the complete chain of work done for anything. The web of human activity has so much blood and exploitation in it. These things are excuses for me to not put effort into anything. Notions of purity of action and thought are designed to harm those who do good while also having portions of their lives that are not virtuous.
I still default to thinking that positive people desire nothing and ask for nothing. All rewards are after death and any rewards or joy on earth takes away from time putting energy into other people's lives to help them.... yeah this is how deeply I was indoctrinated. It makes me unaware of how sexist I am because of the notion of a wife being a helpmate to do everything a man wants in the house was baked in hard. I'm working on it.
I crave something I can choose and then enjoy. I hate the notion that my hobbies and how I enjoy them are gate kept by myself because of what terrible people did to me.
Liking yourself and setting up things you enjoy works for most. I'm working on that.
Learning to get up and do anything when there are those who do not need to put effort into surviving... is a work in progress. Liking yourself helps with this because you still need to survive to enjoy what you enjoy.
Understanding that I can not know everything and that anything I do will be incomplete because I can not understand everything... this is so very hard. Seems like everything is designed to hide the complete chain of work done for anything. The web of human activity has so much blood and exploitation in it. These things are excuses for me to not put effort into anything. Notions of purity of action and thought are designed to harm those who do good while also having portions of their lives that are not virtuous.
I still default to thinking that positive people desire nothing and ask for nothing. All rewards are after death and any rewards or joy on earth takes away from time putting energy into other people's lives to help them.... yeah this is how deeply I was indoctrinated. It makes me unaware of how sexist I am because of the notion of a wife being a helpmate to do everything a man wants in the house was baked in hard. I'm working on it.
I crave something I can choose and then enjoy. I hate the notion that my hobbies and how I enjoy them are gate kept by myself because of what terrible people did to me.
