Getting back to this....

LJ used to be where I would bare my soul. It was the only place I had, or so I thought at the time. I've been working hard to sort out my trauma and be whom I've been suppressing for years. Today, during a wonderful scene with loved ones, I realized I do want to be the center of attention. I do need to have others and interact with them! I also realize I was not socialized well, leading to much trauma, and that I have much to learn. I have loved ones who are there for me and want to support me.

Support is very different when it's support and not used to manipulate and control. Now that I realize how dysfunctional whose who raised me and those around me while I was being raised, mostly gave me bad examples of these things. It helps to dismantle things.