Mind Games

In my last posting I talked about how I finally lost control of my mind when dealing with people at work. The response from all of you was surprising. You all made me think. Now I do lots of thinking, but never as myself. I fragment myself into two or three voices talking back and forth about any given topic. Those other voices can think those things I can't think.

I should take a step back; like the Pharisees, I take Mathew 5:27-28 one step further...

"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery; but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart."

Well it got into my head that if I think something it is the same as doing it. So when I tell people I don't get upset or angry, it's true. The emotion is bound by the idea if I think it, it's the same as doing it. No wonder I want to run away and be by myself. At any moment I may think the wrong thing and I might as well had done it.

No wonder I love Leaves of Grass, it's full of emotion, something I lack.

Sadly, I am not a Vulcan, need to learn to be... human.