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Blancing on the edge of n-dimentions
Jun. 27th, 2006 10:09 amI don't know much about topology, but I like to think that I do. So the metaphor for this journal entry may not make perfect sense. I'm balancing, but I don't have a simple edge and attempting to balance two things. I have every thing in my life I'm trying to balance.
For the longest time I've considered balance my favorite word. It's not my favorite word, but the idea of balance is something that I strive for. The problem is that life does not want balance; it wants to move forward by falling into one thing and then the next. So I sit by in balance growing in frustration as all I can do is balance and not experience or enjoy life. It's as if balancing every thing in my life is my life.
In perspective my trials are trivial. I have everything that most people long for. I have a good house, mate and job. I even have good friends. So what do I stress out about? Work, house, friends and my mate are what I stress over. I don't seem to have enough time for everyone or everything.
You know I was in therapy for all of this, but that became just another thing I didn't have time or money for. Therapy wanted me to dive into my core and find my own happy way out. Oh, but all of that darkness and pain you find in the middle? Deal with it and move on. I couldn't.
The funny thing is I write this LJ post because I can't figure out why secure wireless stopped working at work nor do I know how to trouble shoot it any further.
For the longest time I've considered balance my favorite word. It's not my favorite word, but the idea of balance is something that I strive for. The problem is that life does not want balance; it wants to move forward by falling into one thing and then the next. So I sit by in balance growing in frustration as all I can do is balance and not experience or enjoy life. It's as if balancing every thing in my life is my life.
In perspective my trials are trivial. I have everything that most people long for. I have a good house, mate and job. I even have good friends. So what do I stress out about? Work, house, friends and my mate are what I stress over. I don't seem to have enough time for everyone or everything.
You know I was in therapy for all of this, but that became just another thing I didn't have time or money for. Therapy wanted me to dive into my core and find my own happy way out. Oh, but all of that darkness and pain you find in the middle? Deal with it and move on. I couldn't.
The funny thing is I write this LJ post because I can't figure out why secure wireless stopped working at work nor do I know how to trouble shoot it any further.
