athelstanent: (Voltan)
[personal profile] athelstanent
It's the day before I would drive down to FC. Every time I decide not to go, my anxiety melts away. Then I relax and think "Wow, I would love to go to FC." Then the anxiety kicks in again. Everyone I've talked with about this says that I should just go, relax and be myself. Ah, being myself is the most anxiety provoking thing for me to do. It all stems from a low or negative self-esteem. At this point I'm undecided about going to FC. I do not want to disappoint people who were looking forward to seeing me. I also do not want anxiety so large that it causes me to break down from it. I did figure I should explain it for everyone.

Date: 2011-01-12 10:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ssurgul.livejournal.com
Do what's right for you. Always. Let everyone else just get over their 'disappointment'. Historically, from my and many others' perspectives, 'seeing' someone at Con usually means for a meal, and/or for a fuck, and then you don't see them again. FC has grown to the point where it's difficult to just 'bump into' someone randomly, and most plans fall to pieces during the Con with so many other ... distractions. I'm not trying to convince you to go or not, but spelling out the realities as I see them so you have a better informed decision to potentially make.

For my own part, I will go to FC and a few other Cons again, once I have the cashola. Not to meet folk, but to get pics, get more artz, and support specific artists and others. If I meet up with people, great! If I get to a room party or two, great! If not, that's not what I'm going for.

Date: 2011-01-12 11:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] athelstan.livejournal.com
Thank you I really appreciate this.

Date: 2011-01-13 02:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grayscalewolf.livejournal.com
I'll be deeply disappointed if you do go. you're in the running for the longest streak of twitter angst, and I have $4.79 riding on you.

Date: 2011-01-13 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] athelstan.livejournal.com
Ha! Well you might just win your bet. Though at the moment I'm in a "I'm not going, wow, I feel better. Going down and hanging out would not be bad...."
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