(no subject)

[athelstanent]

Leaning in to the fursona. It feels better to be an anthroboar going through all of this...

Comments

[famsel]

How does your boar-ness translate through the emotions your feeling?

[athelstanent]

Great question. I'll start by expanding what I mean. I see furry and being a boar to be an overlay like religion and other philosophies give people. A way of understanding that aids the person living to translate the objective reality into an understood reality... a way to reach into that part of one that builds reality from senses and the steps after that to build up to an understanding. The other way being a boar helps is it is a way of honoring myself and giving myself permission to enjoy living. It's a way of playing to engage the world better.

You point about emotions was unexpected. It helps me let emotions flow. I know this dynamic will change as my brain adapts to letting go of notions of who I thought I had to be and feel. I spent so much energy detaching and dissociating. I'm putting that into emotions and letting them flow.

Part of this is work to finally change from stopping at "What am I supposed to do? Have fun and enrich myself because I like it? That's for everyone else to their peril"--- (remember: I used to think dissociating and following the notion of who I must be was the only way to exist.) --- to pausing to check I've got time and energy to do things I enjoy and to enrich myself.

[famsel]

Thanks for the detailed response. I'm just sorting out how I feel about the furry fandom in general as someone who felt at the periphery of it (in fact, I always felt at the periphery of everything, forced or not). Furry-ness was a general extension of monsterhood for me, a framework for which I understood how I didn't fit in and a tool for power when I felt utterly powerless. Now as an adult working to properly unpack this trauma, this framework is useless and even problematic for me so I want to change it, incorporate something familiar in a new light. Problem is I can't find a self that aticks. My kudu-"self" felt like more of a muse with which I could discuss the malaise of suburbia. And so I asked the question