That.... that was a hell of a effort/reward cycle there. Whew!

I really am most me too stimmed up. That's a reality to process.
I really am a perv. Like imaginary only pervy kink.... looking forward to learning how to play better for this!
I really am sound orientated.

I learned to share new music with a friend. He was into it.

I like throwing my weight around. This is play.

I got to own it. It's been with me this entire time.

Woah - my associator is back on line. I didn't even notice it was gone. It's so me.

I have moral values.
They are mine. I need to stop projecting it out to others.

Holidays - trying not to get depressed. Today can be summed up so far with "do not compare myself with others", "if I enjoy something then I'll be hurt, even if I do not share it with anyone; I'm not an abuser, abusers enjoy life" and "Got to remember I need to put effort into things even if all the effort I put in did not pay out before because of the shit show around me early on in life."

I got lessons and notions to sort all of this.

Leaning in to the fursona. It feels better to be an anthroboar going through all of this...

Future boar is here. I can Build up a moment and put energy aside for a burst later... of my own choosing!

I've been working on making myself relax more. The weather and air has put much of my energy just treading water. Making strides where I can. Less projection on to others... learned helplessness... Doing what I can even if it's really hard for me and easier for others.