Sadly humans tend to recall crappy memories more than happy ones because pain tends to stick in our mind and act as a warning of things not to repeat. I think life would be a lot easier if we would remember the happy times in life and focus on the things that have given us pleasure rather than the things that have caused us such pain and misery. Sadly pain and misery seem to be the things that we remember the most.

I am very glad that you are getting the time and the help that you need to work through your inner demons. It would be nice if you could slay them quickly aind efficiently, but thats never the case. Erradicating ones personal demons is a slow and painful process, however once you have exposed and excised them, you will feel considerably better that you do now. Just pick one you want to get rid of and work on it, then move on to the next and then the one after that. Together they look like some huge invincible enemy, tackled alone they are much easier to root out and dispose of.

Anyhow, just remember that there are many folks out here who know and respect you for the man that you are. I for one have never thought of you as anything but a great friend and a outstanding person.