BurleyBoar (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
athelstanent) wrote2024-07-12 07:25 am
athelstanent) wrote2024-07-12 07:25 am
Reconnecting with myself
I need to get my planning ass in gear and do more trips to people. It does me well if I can manage to sort it. I'm working on it. (Woah I'm writing this knowing it will have an audience....)
Getting to the point being that this trip started out as a good reminder I'm not alone and can be in groups. My friend Joe got 8 older leather bear men together for sightseeing and serious power exchange. Why was I here? I do not play. Play is an affectation. Then the first night at the cabin someone finds my one switch and I grunt, spasm, and nut to the delight of the rest of the men. The next day the local man and I had a moment where we shared our lives and out deepest traumas (I tend to pull that out of folks). Then a good fire pit, cigar, banter and chat, and then, some how through my tiredness, that same local man worked me over. He worked me starting with a foot massage. Then I unspooled grunting, groaning, and pulling out my inner self.
For lack of a better term, I'm spastic kid who learned to keep still and quiet to survive. So in a safe place with people who understand - they made me grunt and moan and spasm by touching my skin. I recovered some seriously deep repressed memories and stayed in the moment. Ended up having an ass loving pig eat me out while the third joined in to help. So kind.
It's the morning after, and I nopped out of todays optional sigh seeing. Still processing.
To be clear - this is all amazing and wonderful and I'm processing and sharing to help not run away from the good.
Getting to the point being that this trip started out as a good reminder I'm not alone and can be in groups. My friend Joe got 8 older leather bear men together for sightseeing and serious power exchange. Why was I here? I do not play. Play is an affectation. Then the first night at the cabin someone finds my one switch and I grunt, spasm, and nut to the delight of the rest of the men. The next day the local man and I had a moment where we shared our lives and out deepest traumas (I tend to pull that out of folks). Then a good fire pit, cigar, banter and chat, and then, some how through my tiredness, that same local man worked me over. He worked me starting with a foot massage. Then I unspooled grunting, groaning, and pulling out my inner self.
For lack of a better term, I'm spastic kid who learned to keep still and quiet to survive. So in a safe place with people who understand - they made me grunt and moan and spasm by touching my skin. I recovered some seriously deep repressed memories and stayed in the moment. Ended up having an ass loving pig eat me out while the third joined in to help. So kind.
It's the morning after, and I nopped out of todays optional sigh seeing. Still processing.
To be clear - this is all amazing and wonderful and I'm processing and sharing to help not run away from the good.