Oh is that all

Well just got home from therapy. Apparently I have a generalized anxiety disorder that is reinforced by obsessive/compulsive tendencies and smothered in depression. All of this sprang up from a small child as my family, church and school shamed me and repressed who I was as a person. This has lead to forces inside of me that control me. Luckily part of the shame and control was to conform and live a life. So I do that. Nine months of therapy to get here. The thing is that I feel as if I deserve all the hell I live through. Guess a living hell is better than being an alcoholic.

Yeah, this is drama, but it does help the stress and anxiety a little bit. Not too much, that would be bad.

I wish speaking the truth about myself helped.