athelstanent: (OtterSleeping)
[personal profile] athelstanent
I've started a blog on my website, but I've done nothing to promote it. So here is the link I also need to cross post my last entry.

Making mistakes and growing up

I barebacked a poz man and now I’ve got 28 days of pills to make sure I’m ok. So never say, what’s the worst that will happen and go for it.

I wanted to get the important part first. Friday I met up with a friend and we were having a good time. He was rubbing me along his crack and I slipped in. I didn’t say anything, I thought “damn this is good, I’ll go for it.” My friend didn’t day anything either. After, I mention there is a little problem about the bare backing. He reminded me he was poz. He told me this before. I forgot in the moment, and he didn’t stop.
From what I can tell as the top I have a low risk of infection. He has no detectable viral load. It is a real risk though. So after sulking for a few days I decide to take care of it at work. Well a trip the ER, $418 worth of pills, and I should be fine.

The moral of the story is that you can never just “go for it”. The risks are real and never forget that in the moment of passion that you will make poor choices.
Personally I’m still facing the fact that I really do want to fuck and seed raw. That I can and have poor choices in moments of passion. Also that I am choosing to have sex and need to think about the risks. Took a scare to make me wise up.

Date: 2010-12-01 03:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
My supposition here is that you're already panicking sufficiently, and don't need further chastisement.

I just really hope that you wind up being okay.

Either way, I hope that you're able to learn the lesson, here.

Date: 2010-12-01 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
According to the stats I have a 6 in 10000 chance of infection before the drugs. This was a wake up call for me, and I wanted to share that with others. Vigilance can fade with out reminders that things can go very wrong. It also has shown me that desire does not line up with reason. I'm being honest enough with my desires now that this is an issue.

Date: 2010-12-13 03:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
you're still going to update here as well? The new blog looks cool :)

Date: 2010-12-13 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I should cross post everything. Don't expect anything more than once a month.
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